Monday, April 20, 2009

Months of Not Posting

Sorry for that everyone. I've been rather busy with cleaning up this huge mess I've made. Life has thrown me a HUGE disaster to clean up and no one has confidence that I'll be able to except for me. Not even my parents. What am I talking about you ask? Well I'm talking about my terrible grades after my first semester and my still not so amazing grades even now. I'm in danger of not graduating. I have faith in myself...my teachers have faith in me (plus they don't want to see me again next year xD) But...my parents DO NOT.
What's up with that? I do everything in life to make them happy and proud. I feel that in order for me to be proud of myself they should have pride in me as well. That just does not seem to be happening though. Even though I have changed my habits so much in the past few months and I have improved my grades they don't believe in me. They have no pride, no trust, no hope that I can make this work. I will do everything I can to prove them wrong. I'm not going to lie though. I'm actually thankful for it. My failing has made me realize what I want to do in my life.
Yes. I love graphic design to pieces. Creating things for other people has always made me happy. Using Photoshop to manipulate photos and logos and banners and ads has always put a smile on my face. But I realize that no matter how much I love it I'd much rather be a hairstylist. It's a social environment. It's a creative outlet. It's a profession that is growing in size and one that will never go away. People will always need to get their hair done. I'd be extremely happy entering that profession.
And what is my family's impression of my new choice? They aren't too fond of it. My grandma looked at me like I was crazy. My parents are dissapointed and think I'm taking the "easy way out". I've always considered becoming a hairstylist. I just never told anyone because I never thought I'd get the balls to do it. But here I am, finally telling everyone, and they go and shut me down hard. I'm going to try to compromise. I'll got to community college for two years so I can get a garaunteed admissions into any college in the state. I'll use those two years to develop my art skills and build a bad ass portfolio. Then I'll go to VCU for design. If I don't like it...I'm out of there. I go to get my cosmetology license and start my hair career with knowledge of business.
Hell I don't even want to do that. I need to figure things out. Maybe community college for business management...or learn how to be a secratary. Whatever ends up happening, I'll end up where I want. To me life should be lived day to day...the past should not be dwelled upon...the future is a mystery and no attempt to predict it should be made. You should live life by the second. Flow like water aroundyour obstacles and find your place and be content. No matter where my life takes me I will always strive for something better. Till I reach a point of total accomplishment. I will discover what I am supposed to do with my life one day and I will just wait for it to arrive.

I suppose this was half rant, half insightful. Well for me it's off to bed. Night Everyone.

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